Remedial English and Research Tips to Help Internet Narcissists Bridge the Gap Between their Actual Abilities and their Self Worth
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Lesson One: If you have never heard of a word, it does not mean the word does not exist. A little research could save you shooting yourself in the foot.
Some tips on doing that via this example: Just say someone uses the phrase “untalked-of” and you wonder if this phrase really exists in the language. you can take the following steps.
Type the phrase into your favorite search engine and see what comes up. You should immediately see that every dictionary has it listed. Still not satisfied because you don’t want to be wrong? Okay. That is perfectly legit in the world of Narcissism. Go to the next step.
Find an etymology site and search for the historical roots of the phrase. Here you will see that it goes back to the time of Shakespeare – and that indeed, Shakespeare used the phrase in none other than Romeo and Juliet. Still not swayed? Fair enough. What would an Englishman like Shakespeare know about how to speak ‘Merikan. Go to step three.
Open an account with newspapers.com and do some random searches on the word “untalked”. Here is the breakdown on frequency of use by decade in US papers.
Frequency by decade
1900s: 170
1910s: 74
1920s: 99
1930s: 156
1940s: 83
1950s: 94
1960s: 358
1970s: 242
1980s: 150
1990s : 161
So now you know… and can safely accept a new word into your piss-poor vocabulary, making it slightly less piss-poor.
Lesson Two: learn the meaning of words you do use.
For instance, you cannot tell lies about what someone else said and then defend the lies by claiming they were really just sarcasm. And then double down by claiming the person you were lying about doesn’t understand sarcasm.
The whole scenario reminds me of that song supposedly about “irony” when the alleged examples of irony are really not ironic at all, just lame examples of happenstance.
Once again, your best friend that will save you looking foolish, is the dictionary.
Punch “sarcasm” and “meaning” into your favorite search engine to locate the definition:
Sarcasm is an ironic or satirical remark tempered by humor. Mainly, people use it to say the opposite of what’s true to make someone look or feel foolish. For example, let’s say you see someone struggling to open a door and you ask them, “Do you want help?” If they reply by saying, “No thanks. I’m really enjoying the challenge,” you’ll know they’re being sarcastic. Sarcasm is all about the context and tone of voice, which is why it works better verbally. It’s something you’ll know when you hear it.
https://www.yourdictionary.com/articles/examples-sarcasm-meaning-types
So a good example of sarcasm would be someone calling you “O’ Wise One”, if indeed you give the appearance of lacking any wisdom.
Sarcasm is not for example, mischaracterizing what someone else has said in order to argue against your false representation of it, while also avoiding the crux of the real argument put to you. That is calling “lying” and in this example, it is also a debating technique known as “the straw argument”. It is rightly frowned upon. And certainly would not be allowed in any real academic setting, nor characterized by anyone with two firing brain cells, as qualifying as “sarcasm”.
This has been a free public service announcement, since narcissism like its cousin, stupidity, cannot be abated via inoculation, only patience and education. Even though improvement may be barely discernable on measurable outcomes, we are speaking about the future of the species here, and we must at least try to save it.
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